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On the Couch: Twilight Breaking Dawn – Part 1

by The Boo on November 24, 2011 at 10:27 AM

Posted In: On the Couch

Panda and Boo chat about the latest installment in the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 1.

http://thepandaandtheboo.com Jack Wolf

The entire “Saga”?

One Emo girls decision between necrophilia and bestiality…

I read over a brief summery of the books… and to be fair, the movies turn in it to a tween/prosti-tot frenzy.

Twinkly vampires, and were-dogs… not werewolves…

VAMPIRES don’t friggin’ twinkle like they got bedazzled from head to toe.
WEREWOLVES don’t turn in to chihuahuas or golden retrievers…

VAMPIRES are blood-sucking immortals that can’t have children die in sunlight…
WEREWOLVES are 7-10 feet tall, and kill EVERYTHING… not just Vampires.

This whole “Saga” is a mix between Underworld and Days of Our Lives… or As The World Turns.

Blade needs to show up, and kill them all…
…or Buffy…
…or Keafer Sutherland from Lost Boys…
…or Bela Lugosi (Say you don’t know who that is, and I’ll cut you…)

If she’s “Immune to Vamp Powers”
…and she had a half-breed… the baby would be Immune to it’s OWN powers… which means it would be normal…

I hate this series… bastardize the whole Vampire and Werewolf LORE for the sake of a…
I’m done ranting…

BS “Saga” of movies…

I’m done…
Grr…
Sgt Moo

TOO MUCH WRONG!

My mum recently got 2 of the Twilight movies on DVD and I happened to be passing by as she was watching one of them, at first I thought it was a printer commercial because it was showing a Canon printer in full screen…after I saw what it was printing I looked at it and loudly proclaimed WTF! and left the room…SINCE WHEN DO VAMPIRES SHOW CLEARLY IN PHOTOS?!…5 seconds is all it took to completely kill vampire mythology.

And Jack beat me to it with the choice between necro and beast

Someone please tell me they have Van Helsing on speed-dial…
gijoespouse

My mother in law is one of those creepy over the hill Twilight fans. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is so appealing about the whole series. Sparkling vampires aside, Bella is the biggest Mary Sue ever. Why the hell is this mopey chick so damn popular!? Where’s the appeal? Five minutes into a Bella scene and I’m about ready to just blow my brains out to end my suffering. Thankfully common sense won out and I just walked out of the room…

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On the Couch: Twilight Breaking Dawn – Part 1

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